The Brazil Bug

Tiago & I saw a bug. It was not just any bug. It was big and it was ugly. We closely inspected this nasty creature. It was taking a break from shaking the ground foliage to spend a while thrusting its head piece out-from and in-to its body carapace. UGH! Disgusting. While it was doing this, its back legs which were barbed and looked like crablegs, were wiggling behind it, under its butt. This was an enormous, vile, bug, doing really weird things. We tried to carry on a normal conversation. Or at least as normal a conversation as two or three people who don’t speak the same language can have. Every once in a while, we would mark its location by observing the quivering plants. We would take a few moments to gross ourselves out by observing the hideous bug. After a while, Tiago brought my attention to a gigantic flying bug. I remarked that at least it wasn’t that bastard from the ground foliage. Tiago informed that yes, in fact, it was. Oh, bloody hell. “I sure hope that thing doesn’t come near me or I’m gonna freak out”, said I. “I’d like to see that”, said Tiago. “No you wouldn’t”, said I, almost knowing, that having had that exchange, that it was inevitably going to happen. After a while, the unthinkable (if you haven’t been paying attention) happened. The hideous, vile, disgusting, enormous, flying bug flew at me! And crashed into me. And STUCK ON ME!. Noooo! I jumped up and down, and screamed (a manly scream) and shook myself furiously. When it was al over, I looked over at my friends hiding under the yellow tarp that sheltered my tent. What happened next was a surprise. They laughed and continued to watch me as if to see what antics would follow the preceding hilarious (to them) display. “Yeah, so?” I said, trying to regain my composure, “I told you I would freak out and that is precisely what happened.” Tiago said, in his thick Brazilian accent “It’s on your dick.” No, I looked down and lo and behold, affixed to the outside of my pants, in the vicinity of my dick, the hideous, vile, disgusting, head in and out of carapace, ground shaking, bug was. ARRRGGH! I smacked that thing once, jumping around. The tenacious demon remained. I swung again, this time harder, and hit meat. I would hurt for the next twenty minutes. I saw that the bug was knocked off my dick and onto the ground. Before I could think about what I was doing, I drove that bastard into the ground with my right foot. I hadn’t wanted to kill it, but obviously, I was given no choice. This ends the funny story… funny, at least for my Brazilian friends.

Wandering Buenos Aires Under Load

I am now at a beautiful little park with many benches and fountains, north on Agüero, just southwest of the Biblioteca Nacional. It is a very peaceful and relaxing place with many resident cats. It is surrounded by a stout fence, likely to close it at night. It looks like I’ve come to the edge of a great big area of parks. I’m not far from the Cemetario de la Recoletta which is a famous cemetery where Argentina’s dearest citizens are laid to rest. Evita – Si, Juan D. Peron – No.

I need to make some modifications to my mode of travel. I have this tendency to stock up on things. Particularly things I like such as beer, wine, food, and especially any combination of these and other things that I can acquire at a minimal cost. Yesterday, I walked maybe two miles with two, one liter bottles of beer, a bottle of red wine, and six empanadas. How did I end up carrying around so much crap when I didn’t even have any intention to consume any of it that day? Well, the empanadas came first. I was starving after having spent too much time at the internet café. I was looking for a Buenos Aires city guide recommended me by the Buenos Aires, South America Explorers Clubhouse manager whom I had been corresponding with by email. A sign caught my eye; a dozen empanadas for 8.50. That’s a good deal! I went in and purchased a variety. I knew I could not consume them all in one sitting and had no intention of doing so. How many I would end up consuming was unknown. Maybe 4, maybe 8. I wanted a beer too. So I went and got on to go with the empanadas. The beer was a 1 liter Brahma in a returnable bottle. The price was 2.79 which included a 1 peso deposit for the bottle. Great! I was all set. I went to Almagro Plaza on Salgüero and Sarmiento, to enjoy my purchases. As it turned out, I consumed 6 of the 12 empanadas, a good, even, number. And, of course, the whole liter of beer. Another good, even number? I suppose not. I would have to have another one to achieve an even number. Alas, now was not the time.

My book said that the Carlos Gardel (famous tango singer) museum was free on Wednesday. I got there about 15 minutes before closing time, which turned out to be enough time for me. It used to be his house. There were old records and old pictures. He died in a plane crash. After the museum, I was trying to find one of the closer hostels. Trying to find things has been challenging. Almost none of the Buenos Aires maps are oriented with North on top. My trusty map and compass skill are all askew.

In my confusion, I saw a fruit stand with pears that looked delicious. I got one and when I went to pay, I realized that this was a grocery store in addition to a fruit stand. Hey, I could turn in the empty bottle I’m carrying around in my backpack along with my 6 uneaten empanadas, thus avoiding the payment of the deposit. Oh, yeah, on the way to the beer, I found a decent selection of wine. I picked out a red for under a buck and sought out the beer cooler. I found another 1 liter Brahma. Hey, the also have 1 liter Stella Artois for 3 pesos. I better get that too. That is how I left that store with the original pear (7 us cents) which I consumed immediately (delicious), and 3 large glass bottles, that remain to this point in time, unconsumed. Guess what I’m having for lunch?  I’m going to warm up the empanadas and enjoy an ice cold liter of Stella Artois from the Hostel fridge.